I asked Stef to come on Friday to the Koko which will be good if I can find the funds. She’s thinks I view her as quite a boring creature, when it couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s probably best. It doesn’t help that she’s probably read all the bollocks i’ve written about her. I’m sure i’ve written that before. New website, new obscurity.

It seems odd to talk about my regrets in life at such an early age. After downing 20mg of Ritalin, instead of doing some work, as the intention was, I starting scrawling letters.

One was to my dear Stef on how I adored her so, how much it pained me to see her with another. It was rather contrived but I needed to send it; before the Ritalin wore off I made an odd dash to her house and posted it by hand. I’m not to sure whether I regret it or not but it’s some closure that I think I needed.

I officially can’t be arsed with that girl, think i’ll just have to resign to the fact that she doesn’t like me. Decided to delete her number and email address so as not to relapse into a hormonal wreck.

Today is saturday the 11th. The night is a toss up between meeting that girl i’ve always liked or spending the night dressed up as god knows what at the social event of the year, Sam’s Birthday. It’s a pretty easy decision and i ditch the party, what makes it even more satisfying is the girl i’ve always liked isn’t as pathetic as i think she is. She doesn’t insist on going to a party where we’ll not know the majority of people, and even if we did they’re a tad pretentious.

Meet her at 7 and i insist that we go up to a Salsa bar. It’s a bit odd that a straight male who can’t dance insists on going to a Salsa bar, but i think it’s the only way for this girl to loosen up. We actually find the place, which is always good, and promptly get drunk enough to dance. About 5 shots of tequila and a cocktail and we’re on the dance floor giving it our all. I’ve noticed she’s had a fair few too many and can’t dance, i’m not to sure if it’s the booze or her innate ability to dance is lacking. I was fairly sure that all girls could dance, maybe i was wrong.

I ponder on the thought that she has a boyfriend while she’s chatted up by middle aged french men and tries desperatly to run into the male toilets. hmm what a strange girl. The most peculiar thing about the night is, i’ve always heard of asexualism (That sexuality that is the new homosexuality for vagueness and ambiguety (fuck you and use a spellchecker)), But between the whole, “i’ve never actually liked a girl or a guy” speech and the booze it finally struck a chord to why i find her so confusing. All girls i’ve ever met seem to fit a distinct category, easily decipherable and mostly pathetic; she on the other hand is the most intrigueing lil girl on earth. Maybe thats why i like her. Asexualism gives me an excuse to reason with myself why i like her so much and why i can’t have her. Good enough for me.

Finally tried to convince her to dump a guy she didn’t like, with the argument: “Well if you don’t like anybody you might as well go out with me,” line. Wish i didn’t mean it literally, but i am pathetic and you couldn’t blame me for trying. I’m sure this doesn’t make sense but i’m in a tad of a state and don’t really know what to make of much.

0400 i wake up still drunk. WTF, pack my bag rather hurriedly and trek down to Amy’s. Its her birthday, so i congratulate her on this amazing achievement. To be honest i can’t remember much of the 3 days, i’m just working on the pictures in front of me. The luvley Stef stop me from taking pictures of her, i accept, begrugingly. AmA pub at every cornery receives a prefects gown, god knows where she got it from. It looks like a kimono, how cute. Anna’s riding up my arse as usual and we don’t get up to much thats worth talking about.

We do however walk into 3 spooky circles which are perfectly constructed and in a triangle(don’t think someone realises that any 3 things makes a triangle but i digress). The girls get scared as usual. We stumble upon a dead horse which just appears to have fallen over and died. On our last day we walk through a quarry which was amusing, guess you had to be there. Some twats at the campsite kept me up all night, i shouted to no avail. Seriously considered unpegging their tent. Alex calmed me down on a midnight walk, we saw a shooting star, it was ever so romantic.