steven.vu

New Years Eve 2006 – 2007

I’ve got the shits like there’s no tomorrow. Last night I shat some clear liquid that looked like it came off the set of Aliens and threw chunks more violently than ever before. My uncle said he had the cure.

We get to a dank squaler of a restaurant and a bowl is placed in front of me. In it are 2 beating hearts and some gall bladders. The dead disembowleld snake is being butchered in the corner. A shot glass is placed in front of me and a milk bottle full of a reddish substance comes from under the table. This is the fabled drink. A freshly gutted snakes heart, gall bladder and snakes blood mixed with snake wine. Shot properly and you can still feel the heart beat down your throat.

My 14 year old cousin drinks with me. She’s braver than me. Once that’s out the way, I feel much better. We head off and dance the night away.

p.s will add some sexy pictures.

Happy Chinese New Years!

BBC Chinese New Year Guide

I may just go out in the next few days, China Town looks good this time of year. Last year me Jin and Chris went to some event on London Bridge, the club was so huge. Anyways, mid week festivities probably won’t be as large. Johanna, the girl i last saw when i was 8 still remembers who i am, i posted her a letter which she should recieve in a couple of days. I’m so chuffed, made my day.

Happy New Years you CUNT.

Just got home from an arduous trip with a Pakistani cab driver who thinks paki cab drivers ae worse than Nigerian Cab drivers. He’s entitled to his opinion however, I beg to differ. Nigerians are the worst of the bunch. So back to what happened. We met at New Malden, me and Jin. Bumped into Carl somehow while walking to Monika’s. We used to be close buds but since he got on the class A’s we havn’t been so close. I don’t really feel for popping pills all night. Me Jin and Monika go down to Wimbledon to meet up with Solmi, Alice, Sophie, Sedge, Houss and Dave. Sedge and Houss are cocks, not to sure why they’re there other than me inviting them out of pity.

Houss is the Muslim? That doesn’t drink. I’d say I don’t like him because he doesn’t drink but that’s kind of un PC in this day and age. Wait. I don’t like him because he doesn’t drink. I’ve known him for 8 years, we used to go to school together since year 5. But hey, he doesn’t drink. I don’t like non drinkers. Kind of like a girl with no breasts. What’ the fun in that?

We get to Wimbledon and find Weatherspoons. Drinks are bought. More drinks are bought. It’s 10, we decide to head down to London. I’m not to sure how to tell Sedge and Houss how to fuck off. Houss for the reasons afore mentioned and Sedge because he has money but doesn’t know how to spend it, Expecting to scrounge off Jin and his scraps like a fucking peasant. Vermin, all of them. Dave, at least he wants to spend it, no doubt he’ll try to but won’t succeed but at least he’s trying to. Jin, although he’s my sugar daddy, he’s spent over a grand and a half in these last few days and I mean, I’m looking out for the mother fucker. Lil does he know it however.

NYLON, the club we originally intended to go to, doesn’t exist. I’m fuming, telling Chris(who told us to got there) that he’s a fucking cunt. The cabby is trying to pull a fast one, leaving us at a fucking construction site but I know his sought. We finally get dropped off near Walkabout but they won’t let us in without tickets. A trek to leister square pursues. That’s the fun part of New Years, the trek. In the process littling our possse from roughly 10 to 4. It’s me Dave Jin and Houss. Houss is fucking me off. He’s like the control who doesn’t drink but looks down pretentiously to fuck up like the drunkered you are. He doesn’t get the message.

We get to Ruby Blue. It’s New Years, Houss doesn’t wanna go, he scrambles to find an excuse. I tell him frankly, we’re going in, with or without you. I ignore him. We go in. Fuck houses and his non drinking soul. He can look down at me in the morning when he’s had a shite nite.

So the three of us are in the club. Me Jin and Dave. Slow start but we instantly find our target. Mother and daughter dancing away. It’s kind of sick in a way but hey, it’s new years eve and I’m gonna a good night if it blooming kills me. Chris is still in Epsom, he’s coming down soon, still just a couple more hours. Somewhere along the way the bar closes for what seems like an eternity (10 minutes) and we jump up and down like lunatics. IT’S 2005. Doesn’t seem to strike a chord just yet.

The daughter is looking ripe for the picking. I stumble by and dance, it’s all going good until she proclaims she has a boyfriend. Still dancing mind you. Boyfriend joins an hour later, he’s a silly lil punk. It’s sick that the mother just looks on, how sweet her daughter being molested by a guy twice her age. Apparently she’s her sister, FUCK YOU she’s her sister. No chance. Chris somehow turns up. The club shuts.

To china town. Praise Mao at “1997″ and enter Crispy duck. I shall not be affiliated with such commy praising cunts. No. P1 and A1, twice. Food arrives pretty promptly. We’re eating, it’s to much food, not that I wouldn’t mind it now, I’m starving. We wait for the N77 as is usual practice but end up getting a cabby for £30. He’s trying to overcharge when I get home, apparently he wants another £5. Fuck him, he finally wins out and I give him £3.

I love Chris’s new caps by the way, they’re only temporary fillers but look decent enough. I’m sure girl’s will love him anyway. I’ve decided. My new years resolution, which is mightily important I’ll have you know, is to write a novel. A chapter a month. Should be good. Night.

Steven.