You can have a lot of fun at an apple store.

Max made a tree

It’s me and my brother Max, he’s not heavy.

And with a healthy glow

Sitting in the pub with not enough money to buy a pint is depressing. After scrounging a pint off a girl we decided to start a business. And so it is, without a license, selling burgers on the cheap:

Update: The selling will commence on Thursday proper. After an abysmal dry run using plastic burgers and an inflatable bbq in Canbury, it was decided that fine weather was essential for this buisiness to work. I do not have big feet.

Max got in trouble for drawing a face on his nipple and showing it to a teacher. She didn’t have a sense of humour.

Max showing his nipple.

Obligatory close up shot.

Chris saw me walking down the road and was apparently waving frantically. He said I was walking down the road swinging my hands like a looney. I wasn’t.

Smoking recently has been getting a raw deal. Anybody stating otherwise is usually hung drawn and quartered. Here we like to buck the trend, often for no reason what so ever than to buck the trend.

We know your square rents will be shouting “But Jimmy they kill you,” or “Jimmy you’ll smell”. You’re however, better than that, you know there are two sides to every argument. What are the cool kids saying you ask? That smoking is undeniably cool, it’ll get you laid, you’ll look cool and your peers will respect you. Max Robson is here to give the low down on what’s hot and what’s not in Smoking paraphernalia.

Marlboro Lights

Marlboro lights are a somewhat universal smoke. Many a person were brought into the world of smoking by this brand; this is probably the reason why, that never in extensive smoking years have I met another who dislikes them with a passion. In general you’ll find that Marlboro light smokers are generous with their cigarettes, why this is nobody knows, but it certainly is fact. One thing I personally like about them is that you don’t feel like your dying every time you take a drag as can be the case with their older brother the reds. Always a bonus.

Taste
A good balance has been achieved by the good people of Phillip Morris here. They somehow manage to be low tar and yet have a full flavour like the heavies. The interesting quality of Marlboro lights is they have a seemingly standard taste and yet somehow exceed that at the same time. You could smoke Marlboro lights all day as they have very low if any scratch to them. If you are a smoker make sure, if you haven’t already for some absurd reason, you experience them.

Coolness
One issue they have which could be considered a let down is that those of us who aren’t seasoned smokers can give off a ‘My mum knows I smoke but I don’t care’, image with these. But for the rest of the world they are pretty cool, not exceptionally cool mind. If you want to be really cool whilst smoking Marlboro lights you’ll need some of your own cool at hand.

This weeks member of the public had this to say
‘well they’re amazing – wow, what a creation, I remember all the way back in 1999 when I had the first toke of one, it sent my heart pumping, my blood gushing, my mind racing, my taste buds bursting ..wow .. I ….I think I love them.’

5 – Cost
7 – Coolness
6 – Health
7 – Effectiveness
8 – Taste
8 – Overall

It’s blooming hot and i’m wilting inside, trying to find someone so I can go wilt outside. Maybe play some rounders and have a BBQ. London City Airport says it’s a nice 30C.

Instead of doing something normal my good friend Max completed Minesweeper in less than 100 seconds. Please do try it yourself to realise how impossible the task is.