steven.vu

Hanoi | A brief list of the Vietnam’s a la carte menu

I’m in Hanoi at the moment. There’s a market selling all manner of goods. Mother knows a few people round here so i’ve been chatting to a few forwarding agents and sellers of various kinds. It’s only $100 to ship 1m*3. Problem is you have to collect it at port. London to Southampton probably ends up at twice that.

Last night I ended up ordering a suit. I had my fitting the same day. Now i’m just waiting in a dingy cafe for the tailor to finish up. Ended up costing $100 a suit and they look well made.

I got lonely trapsing the streets of Hanoi. When I spotted a cute girl writing in a journal at a place called Stop cafe I asked to join her. We hit it off pretty well and she took me to some bars. Turns out she’s an architect working here. I arranged to meet up tomorrow but am leaving in the morning. Boo hoo

I want to live here for a few months to get the feel of the place. It isn’t as hedonistic as Saigon, but has a cooler laid back atmosphere. The architect is living on $400 a month. I was offered a job back in Saigon. The pay was $800 – $1000 with $400 entertaining money. You then get commision of sales. I have two uncles that did it for 6 years; making $4000~. They’re nut cases. I turned it down. The job just involves getting drunk with ex pats every night and whoring.

I came out here with an open mind. If someone offered me something i’d taste it. Here’s what I ended up tasting:

**Edit

Goats balls and cock

and some other thing which I forgot.

**

Duck Fetus
Fried Turtle feet
Turtle shell stew
Turtle blood mixed with Hanoi Vodka
Turtle blood mixed and gall bladder with Hanoi Vodka
Boiled Rabbit
Fried Silk Worm lightly seasoned with salt
Fried Grasshopper lightly seasoned with salt and chilli
Lightly fried Snake Kidney
Snake stew
Snake blood mixed with Vodka
Snake blood and ground gall bladder with Vodka
Snake blood and beating heart with Vodka
Seared Breast of Goat

What I daren’t taste:
All manner of Dog
All manner of Cat

I’m a Dog person so wouldn’t mind the odd boiled Cat. Problem is mother was born the year of the Cat.

I woke up yesterday. Tired and dischevelled in a lonely part of Hai phong I stumbled out to be greated by three cats. Two boiled and de furred. One in the process of being de furred. The cutest cat, white with ginger and black specks. Almost vomitted.

Steven in Pataya, Thailand | Go go bars with mother.

So I got to Thailand yesterday. I’m with my rents so the holiday should have been pretty subdued. Should. We get to a place called Pataya and meet one of my mums friends[sic] friend. Turns out she’s a retired madame. We meet and obviously my mother doesn’t know this. Instantly she says she’ll find me a sexy lady and points to the prossies dressed in next to nothing across the street from my bar. Just a little embaressing. We then head off to walking street and enter a go go bar.

 I’m sitting in a fucking strip club with my mum and dad. while a dancer is gyrating next to me.

It’s fine though. You can tell she sees this is a little unnerving for my mother and so we head off. Well that was what I initially thought, she actually thought the girls were a lil below average so we went to a better one. I’m drowning the silence with beers and it turns out to be quite a cool night.

 I think she was hunting for women to occupy the small rooms above the bar which seem to be ever so busy. She owns it with a guy known as “bob”. He’s cool.

 Tonight i’m meeting my mums[sic] friends[sic] sister. She owns 3 shops down walking street. A massage place mother and I perused earlier, and two jewellry shops. Updates soon enough.