My ear is fucking infected and feels like it’s going to fall off. Graham just tried to beat the fuck out of me and I need to get a train at 7 to catch the plane at 11. I’m off to Austria, i’ll be there in 12 hours. My suitcase isn’t packed and I feel like fuck. I’m drunk.

It was Chris’s party today. Kinda shite so we went into Kingston for a quick drink. That turned into a couple. Once we got back, the fittist girl was there dancing. Sadly I couldn’t crump. How the fuck do you crump.

Someone teach me. I want her.

Today is saturday the 11th. The night is a toss up between meeting that girl i’ve always liked or spending the night dressed up as god knows what at the social event of the year, Sam’s Birthday. It’s a pretty easy decision and i ditch the party, what makes it even more satisfying is the girl i’ve always liked isn’t as pathetic as i think she is. She doesn’t insist on going to a party where we’ll not know the majority of people, and even if we did they’re a tad pretentious.

Meet her at 7 and i insist that we go up to a Salsa bar. It’s a bit odd that a straight male who can’t dance insists on going to a Salsa bar, but i think it’s the only way for this girl to loosen up. We actually find the place, which is always good, and promptly get drunk enough to dance. About 5 shots of tequila and a cocktail and we’re on the dance floor giving it our all. I’ve noticed she’s had a fair few too many and can’t dance, i’m not to sure if it’s the booze or her innate ability to dance is lacking. I was fairly sure that all girls could dance, maybe i was wrong.

I ponder on the thought that she has a boyfriend while she’s chatted up by middle aged french men and tries desperatly to run into the male toilets. hmm what a strange girl. The most peculiar thing about the night is, i’ve always heard of asexualism (That sexuality that is the new homosexuality for vagueness and ambiguety (fuck you and use a spellchecker)), But between the whole, “i’ve never actually liked a girl or a guy” speech and the booze it finally struck a chord to why i find her so confusing. All girls i’ve ever met seem to fit a distinct category, easily decipherable and mostly pathetic; she on the other hand is the most intrigueing lil girl on earth. Maybe thats why i like her. Asexualism gives me an excuse to reason with myself why i like her so much and why i can’t have her. Good enough for me.

Finally tried to convince her to dump a guy she didn’t like, with the argument: “Well if you don’t like anybody you might as well go out with me,” line. Wish i didn’t mean it literally, but i am pathetic and you couldn’t blame me for trying. I’m sure this doesn’t make sense but i’m in a tad of a state and don’t really know what to make of much.